Emotional Intelligence

By Alkesh Patel LPC, CSAC, CEO

Emotions are responsible for our best and worst moments. They are a part of what makes us human beings. Giving us a sense of direction and helping us to take action where necessary. However, sometimes feelings can dominate our minds and push our logical thinking to the back. These states of irrationality often lead to some of our most impulsive and worst decisions. 

Often we look back at the past and wish only if we had thought more clearly, things would have been different. Emotions are not bad. Instead, they are essential for us to make the right choices. That being said, learning to control our emotions and use our rational thinking is necessary for us to live productive and successful lives. That is why we need emotional intelligence. 

What is emotional intelligence? 

You can define emotional intelligence as the ability that enables us to confront, process, and manage emotions — not only for ourselves but also for the people around us. Emotional intelligence can help us build stronger relationships, improve self-awareness and self-management, and help us make decisions that serve us well in our lives. 

Our emotional intelligence determines academic, social, and personal success more than our IQ. Perhaps, it is the most crucial factor that contributes to us living more fulfilling lives. It determines how we tackle different challenges by keeping our minds straight. IQ is a fixed attribute, but fortunately, emotional intelligence is something we can learn and improve throughout our lives. 

Actionable Advice

Starting earlier in life, Improving a child’s emotional intelligence is of paramount importance for their welfare. If you are a guardian, you can help your child develop better thinking by using the following strategies: 

Encourage them to open up. 

When children talk about their feelings, this increases their sense of self-awareness. Teaching them how to label their emotions can help them better understand and assess their feelings. Teach them a new vocabulary to identify different emotions. 

Appraise them for showing self-control/Impulse control

A well known study has shown children taught or show self control over their impulses are able to maintain a well balance life as a adult. Praising someone can reinforce their good habits. If your children show self-control and achieve excellent results by managing their emotions, always appreciate them. This will teach them to improve their lives through their own actions. 

Be specific and constructive. 

If you want to help someone correct their flaws, you must do this by pointing out the specific behavior and incident that should have gone differently. Criticize only what is wrong and offer solutions. This way, you won’t offend the recipient. 

Try to be calm during disputes

In the heat of anger, we overreact and make our situations worse than they needed to be. When you are angry, try to step back and calm down. This may help you control your rage and avoid any unnecessary damage.