Alkesh Patel MEd, LPC, CSAC, CEO
Learning how to handle challenging situations is a must-have skill for every adult. In life, you will inevitably find that you encounter people that you disagree with and must find a compromise. This blog will not only discuss why learning to handle challenging situations is necessary but techniques to help you to so.
Two rights can also be wrong
Parenting is often a source of disagreement for adults. Take this instance: Two parents are arguing about the parenting style that they want to use to raise their children. The first parent wants to use a cognitive style while the second wants to use an emotional style. The conflict is not about which style is better but rather a failure to accept that each wants to use their own independent style of parenting.
While neither parent here is “wrong,” their inability to compromise is impacting their ability to be effective parents. This is where compromise is incredibly helpful. There is no need to continue to argue. Agreeing to disagree and respecting each other’s points of view can be helpful in successfully co-parenting. Here are some ways that you can incorporate compromise into challenging situations.
- Rethink your expectations. There’s no reason to continue to argue “just because.” Ask yourself what you’re fighting for. Is it just because you’re stubborn? Do you need to be “right”? Would you be able to move on from this and find common ground? Reevaluating how passionately you feel about a topic during a fight can help lead you to compromise.
- Be willing to change. When you’re willing to rethink your expectations, you may realize that you don’t mind the other person’s point of view once you understand it and take a moment to open your mind.
- Share your beliefs and emotions. Sometimes compromising requires hearing the other person and feeling heard yourself. It’s about meeting halfway and being honest. Don’t forget this part.
The power of what, why, and how
There’s a certain power that comes with know what you want, why you want it, and how you’re going to get it. While it’s not a perfect process, you may discover as you age that there are fewer things you want in life, but those few things are truly important to you. This is also powerful in challenging situations because it often leads to greater self-care.
If you were once a person who went after everything, you may realize that you no longer need to be on every single project at work, be at every neighborhood function or take your kid to every single mommy or daddy and me function. Likewise, if you’re someone who has always had trouble asking for what they want or going after it, growing into this in adulthood can be truly empowering. Not everyone is born assertive, but boy is it powerful when you finally have a chance to reach out and take what you want.
Here are some self-care reminders that come along with the power of “what, why, and how:”
- What: Do what makes you happy and don’t lose sight of those things. If it means you say “No” to people more often, then practice saying no. It’ll be hard at first, but you can do it.
- Why: Remind yourself “why” you do the things you do and for whom. Is it for yourself? Your family? Your loved ones? Good. If you’re not longer doing the things you do for those most important to you, then it might be time to take some of your work off of your plate.
- How: Don’t forget that “how” you do things doesn’t have to be textbook. If you get through the week by giving yourself some quiet time with a bath and wine each evening or yoga on Saturday mornings, then that’s your self-care time that you deserve.
Learning how to handle challenging situations is never fun, but you can do so through compromise and self-care. Practice ultimately makes perfect, so keep working at it!Best Regards,